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[PC] [MAC] League of Legends

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[PC] [MAC] League of Legends

Unread postby icycalm » 26 Dec 2012 01:42

http://www.caltrops.com/2012/12/21/2012 ... -we-hated/

For anyone not familiar with DotA games, they’re basically an online RTS team game of Marvel vs Capcom, and no one does it as polished or intuitively or asshatteryless than League of Legends. I’ve sunk over 1300 hours into this damn thing since late 2009. That would have been 1300 hours of FREE entertainment if I didn’t once shell out $5 for an outfit to replace my pirate’s pistols with candy canes.


Sullla also likes it, which is pretty strong recommendation in my book:

http://www.garath.net/Sullla/leagueoflegends.html

So I guess I will have to look into it.
Last edited by icycalm on 27 May 2015 21:25, edited 2 times in total.
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Unread postby icycalm » 27 May 2015 17:10

...aaaaand we're back with a new review: http://culture.vg/reviews/in-depth/leag ... 09-pc.html

Not as complete an analysis as I would have liked (no word about the aesthetics, and he seems to compare it mostly with Dota 2 as opposed to the original Dota, which though certainly a useful comparison, is not quite fair to the game given how much older than Dota 2 it is...), but it's extremely hard to find any reasonable discussion of these games given the kind of people who tend to play them, so until someone writes or points me to a better analysis (or to the parts of the analysis that are missing so I can add them to our review page), I will be happy enough with just this.
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Unread postby DJ Orwell » 27 May 2015 21:35

If League of Legends is three stars over 300 hours, would it be five stars for just the first 50 hours? After 500 hours, would it become one star, since everything is solved and seems so simplistic?

How can you complain about not being able to enjoy a game after three hundred hours? Who could value their time so little that they'd spend three hundred hours with anything less than what they consider to be a masterpiece? What point would they have to prove, and would it be worth caring about?

Separately, how can we have a definitive analysis, in any real depth or detail, of a game which is constantly changing? You can't even base your review off a particular version, since you can't stick with that version for any decent stretch of time since the patches are perpetual and mandatory. The header says (2009, PC), but there's little doubt that League of Legends of 2009 plays drastically different from that of 2015, and there's no possible way to play the 2009 game again and there will never be.

There are only three criticisms in this review, two being spurious preferences the author doesn't elaborate much upon ("I like having less mana because weightier decisions, and I don't like progress tied to profiles because ???"), and the rest is just explaining why the business model hurts the balance and depth. That's the only salient point, and I don't see how it could be considered worthy of a frontpage review in and of itself. Even then, if money were no object, you could just buy all the fucking heroes and play at the competitive level with everyone else who has. All his experience here is based upon playing the game as an unemployed cheapskate.

If Street Fighter IV were free, but with only two characters to play for free, and the rest cost two dollars each, would that make the game fundamentally any worse? No, you'd just have to shell out for the full game. Nothing has changed other than the pricing. This reviewer claims that the business model discourages strong counters and synergies, since not everyone has all the heroes, but he doesn't provide any examples of how that is the case. The same misconception could easily be made of playing a fighting game with a limited roster of characters.

For fuck's sake, he says the game "never truly hooked me" and yet somehow he spent OVER THREE HUNDRED HOURS on it. No wonder he was unemployed.
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Unread postby DJ Orwell » 27 May 2015 21:45

I thought Spider-Man 2 was a pretty mediocre movie. I've only watched it sixty times, though.
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Unread postby icycalm » 27 May 2015 21:46

Your objections are commonplace and banal. That wouldn't be so bad, considering how young and inexperienced you are with videogames, but you compound the problem by your bolded fonts, all caps and tiresome exaggeration (which you will cut out asap or be banned for).

This is the best review of the game that I am aware of at the moment, and it gave me what seems to be a decent understanding of what the author deems the major difference between it and its one or two other biggest competitors. Hence, it went on the frontpage and is a valuable addition to the site, so either point me to a better review, or write one yourself, or piss off and stop annoying us with your inane screaming.
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Unread postby icycalm » 27 May 2015 21:47

DJ Orwell wrote:I thought Spider-Man 2 was a pretty mediocre movie. I've only watched it sixty times, though.


Different genres of games operate at different time scales of player investment. You don't spend the same amount of time on a Dragon's Lair and a Civilization. Only a fuckin' absolute retard who doesn't play games would fail to realize this. Piss off and learn your place or I will ban you.
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Unread postby icycalm » 27 May 2015 21:54

As for all the changes to the game over the years. They are details. What's next? Not being allowed to voice an opinion on basketball because the game has been evolving for a century or something?

Like I said, commonplace and banal misconceptions and exaggerations, that could only have been voiced by someone who doesn't really play games. That sums up every single fucking comment of yours I've ever read on the subject of videogames ever. I've probably read more sensible things about games from Michael Lowell than from you (all 3 or 4 of them).
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Unread postby icycalm » 27 May 2015 22:02

DJ Orwell wrote:Even then, if money were no object, you could just buy all the fucking heroes and play at the competitive level with everyone else who has. All his experience here is based upon playing the game as an unemployed cheapskate.


But why do this if you can play Dota 2 instead? (not to mention that I presume you CAN'T do this, because when you are playing against random strangers there's no way to ensure that they will have bought or grinded for all the gear).

That's the whole point of the review -- its one single fucking point! -- and you STILL failed to get it. The dude, going by his own analysis, seems to have behaved perfectly logically: he played LoL up to intermediate level, at which point the problem with the business model starts to become acute, and then moved on to Dota 2 which had just been released (and which therefore he couldn't have played before, justifying his 300 hours on LoL) and which doesn't have this problem, and which has a couple of other advantages too that he explained in the review.

So there you have it: a perfectly logical and valid analysis to which you have exactly 0 valid objections. And it's the same with every objection of yours that I've ever read on anything. But I don't have the time to provide you with this sort of supplementary analysis to the analysis every time you fail to understand something, so do everyone a favor and just keep your objections to yourself from now on, if they are all going to be of the same retarded nature.
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Unread postby icycalm » 27 May 2015 22:06

I mean it's absurd. Look at all those posts in this thread since you posted in it. They contain exactly ZERO new information or analysis. Exactly ZERO amount of value. All they do is clog the thread up with your whining and my teenager-level explanations that I have no use for on this site.

Normally I would delete everything, but I will leave it this once as a lesson, to you and to other ignorant teenagers who might read this. Post on 4chan if you have nothing of value to contribute. And trust me: you have nothing of value to contribute.
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Unread postby icycalm » 27 May 2015 22:22

It's so transparent why you behave the way you do. You don't come here to learn anything new, to help you appreciate games more, and find the best ones to play, since you don't really play games. You come to find things to argue about and make yourself feel, and seem to others, smart. In contrast, I and the others here are all about the games.

So from this review I learned that, as a long-term game, Dota 2 is probably better than LoL, so when I make a team to get into MOBAs I will go for Dota, which was not at all clear to me before I read this review. If I hadn't read it, I would have picked a game at random, or let someone else make the decision for me. Therefore, the review is useful to me and deserves to be shared around.

But you do not ever plan to play this game or any other MOBA or perhaps even any other game ever. So a helpful review that compares the two most popular MOBAs is useless and should be excised from the face of the internet, as far as you are concerned, because reasons (reasons that make fuck-all sense, like for example the reason that no one should ever review LoL without reviewing every single patch and update ever released for it, and since this is impossible now, no one should ever dare to talk about LoL again, lol).
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Unread postby DJ Orwell » 28 May 2015 00:57

icycalm wrote:But you do not ever plan to play this game or any other MOBA or perhaps even any other game ever.


You are so very, very wrong here, and you have wronged me.

I've played League of Legends for five hours and Defense of the Ancients before that for another five. That's ten hours more than you have, which could easily be remedied if you weren't preoccupied with scouring out random forum posts to copy-paste to your frontpage instead of actually playing videogames.

Look at my achievements and tell me I don't play videogames.

You haven't even played most of those games. And that's nothing on the countless DOS and legacy console games before my time I've played via emulation as well, since I've never owned a computer capable of running modern games. I've played games from every nation, genre, developer, and era that I can get my hands on. I've had accounts on Underground Gamer, bitGamer, and Gazelle. I've expended my parents' bandwidth caps numerous times by my excessive torrenting.

I play videogames. All I fucking do is play videogames. I will never aspire to anything else in my life apart from playing videogames. I play videogames seven or eight hours a day. I got Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne in the mail yesterday, and played it eight hours until 3 AM, and for maximum autism I'm playing it with self-enforced Ironman so that when I got a Game Over three and a half hours in on a boss fight, I restarted and played it another four hours (over half of which was mindless grinding) to get past it. I also play Far Cry 2 with permadeath, and I've probably played it more than you have, and I may never finish it but I don't care.

I spend all my money on videogames and food. I don't have a job, I don't have any friends, I made a fucking mess of education because instead of doing the assignments in my special day classes they put me in after a spontaneous satirical sketch they misconstrued as a safety threat... I would write out lists of the games I was currently playing. Over and over. Every Cave shooter emulated in MAME. All those pretty titles. It was some psychotic aspie shit, I tell you. I got kicked out of my parents house because instead of watching football with them, I would stay in my room playing videogames.

Here's an unwatchable video of me screaming at my parents for taking away my arcade stick and my friend's Xbox 360 so I couldn't play Mushihimesama Futari, so to retaliate I hooked up an NES and played Gradius instead.

And that's nothing on the craigslist sex ads I've put up with titles such as "Suck me off while I play Gears of War 3." and "You play killer7 at my apartment while I do whatever I want." You wouldn't believe how popular my sex ads are, especially in South Africa.

You can rightfully denigrate every aspect of my character, if you must. You can call me an appalling, autistic, degenerate subhuman manchild shut-in. But you cannot say I don't play videogames. That is absolutely false, the most false statement one could conceivably make of me. At a glance you would know I play videogames, that that is all I'll ever amount to, that my epitaph ought to include my gamerscore in the header. That is before you pass out from the stench.

Last year, when I was still receiving government benefits for having autism (before they said it wasn't enough to prohibit me from keeping a job), I went and ordered a GAEMS UNSC Vanguard Personal Gaming Environment. It's a portable TV briefcase to house my Xbox 360, so I could play it anywhere. I didn't have Internet access at home, so I got on Xbox Live by occupying college classrooms and filching their Ethernet ports, shutting the window blinds so I wouldn't be seen. I managed this way for several months. When they banned me from the campus, I would play in libraries and whisper over the headset, or I would set up at the local game store, which served as my second home.

Here are pictures of me and my Vanguard. I walked for literally dozens of miles with it and a backpack filled with supplies and games. It was my security blanket and it kept me some semblance of sane in that dire, desolate county.

I could go on forever. I could relate my entire life experience to videogames. In fact, there's nothing else to relate it to. I owe all my happiness to videogames, and my future is only videogames, of getting a job so that I can play The Witcher III, Call of Duty: Black Ops III, and Bloodborne. I play videogames. I play them more than you do. Fuck you.
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Unread postby icycalm » 28 May 2015 01:12

And yet I still demolished all your stupid arguments. And yet you still haven't contributed a single sentence to the subject of this thread. Nor do you have the sense to shut up and stop trying to derail it.

Accusing you of not playing videogames is kind on my part. Because the alternative is that you are retarded.

DJ Orwell wrote:I play them more than you do.


Nah. It's obvious that you don't. Goodbye.
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Unread postby icycalm » 28 May 2015 01:15

DJ Orwell wrote:And that's nothing on the craigslist sex ads I've put up with titles such as "Suck me off while I play Gears of War 3."


And you have to bring your ugliness with you wherever you go. Even into our little walled-off videogame heaven...
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Unread postby icycalm » 28 May 2015 01:33

By the way, if all you ever do is play videogames, and fail to participate adequately in the world, all you'll accomplish is fail to understand videogames even MORE.

If you play videogames to escape from reality you've lost by default, not only in videogames, but in life too. I grow sick of videogames if I spend more than a week or two indoors playing them 24/7. And I can only do that with masterpieces: with regular games I get sick of them even quicker.

The ideal scenario for me is a life where the the morning is spent outdoors, doing some really tough sport like surfing or snowboarding, and the evening indoors playing games. Or, alternatively, one full day outdoors per one or two full days indoors. Only thus I can enjoy both types of activities fully (I get sick of sports too if I play them everyday without any intellectual activities to break up the routine).

I cannot even begin to comprehend the mindset of someone who can stay indoors and play games all the time. It is precisely what I rail against in my essays with terms like "neckbeard" and so on.

And despite all that, I STILL play far more games than you and know far more about them (not too hard though since you know nothing).

Talk about total fail on your part.

You are most likely the most worthless gamer I have ever interacted with.

And how are you going to fully enjoy games if you don't have friends or money? That pretty much means shit hardware and little to no multiplayer. How can you play LoL and Dota without friends? You haven't played anything. You would have had a more accurate idea of them if you hadn't played them at all. Like the dingbats on LTC who couldn't find 2 more people to play D:OS with them, and ended up scribbling an entire theory to rationalize their social failure.

Fail, fail, fail, and again fail. I am already depressed by all this failure and I don't even know you. Of course I'd hate the entire world too if I were you.
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Unread postby icycalm » 28 May 2015 06:24

This is what nobody seems to get. Your criticisms of videogames draw their power from the way you live your life. Art is nothing but dreams, but to dream well you must sleep well, and to sleep well you must first exert yourself -- in the real world. If you are a failure in the real world, your judgements in the illusory world will be failures too. And lo and behold, I have never seen a bigger failure describe himself to me than the way you described yourself above. And lo and behold, your judgements are the worst I have ever come across. And that's why Lowell's are marginally better than yours: because he is at least a Walmart employee who can keep a job down and a couple of friends around. You can't even manage that much. Conversely, my judgements are the best because I am the best in the real world too.

Good theory is terrifyingly consistent. And that's why losers hate it. As far as they are concerned it might as well be fate.

A sick life leads to sick dreams. All you are doing by staying in and playing more and more games is getting sicker, and sicker, and sicker. And reading and posting about games on forums is even more sick, and speeds up the deterioration of your situation. That's why you can't bring yourself to even talk about the game in question at all. All you have is phlegm to vomit due to being so frigging sick.
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Unread postby icycalm » 28 May 2015 06:53

And by the way, don't think I've bought your little tirade about how much time you spend playing games. The psychology is extremely fishy. The kind of person who plays games all day -- or who at least would LIKE to spend all day playing games -- would talk about nothing but games if he went to post on a videogame forum. He would not try to berate the best critic ever for posting the best review of a game ever on the best game site ever, without even bothering to talk about the game at all. That is full non-gamer behavior that I have not encountered anywhere else on the internet ever outside of hipsters who don't play games at all. There is no one on NeoGAF or rllmuk or Shmups.com or any other videogame forum I am aware of who would act like that. I don't even think that anyone on LTC would act like this. I remain convinced that your behavior betrays a complete lack of interest in videogames, and a hatred of pretty much everything in the universe that is not yourself. I suspect that you never play games but spend all day browsing videogame forums. This is the only kind of daily routine that would be psychologically consistent with the kind of stuff you post on the rare occasions when the admin of a site allows you to post something. Meta-criticism garbage (criticism of criticism) because your whole life revolves around skimming criticism, and that's therefore all you have to talk about.
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