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Unread postby Peter » 10 Feb 2011 02:04

This mirrors my own experience. I found your website a year ago and proceeded to read it in its entirety over a period of three days. I then went through every single forum post. This place is a goldmine.

After reading your essays, I found that my taste in literature changed drastically. The only books I read these days are either philosophy or books of a highly technical nature. Nearly everything else I try to read leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and I now keep a copy of The Gay Science on my desk for when I feel the need to clean my "mental palate," if you will. It is amazing how refreshing it is to read Nietzsche or Schopenhauer, or to come here, after having to read some subhuman's scribbles.

Thank you for creating this website, and I can't wait for you to finish your books.
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Unread postby icycalm » 10 Feb 2011 10:10

As regards the forum, in a couple of decades, or perhaps even sooner, there will be entire armies of scholars going through every post with fucking microscopes. This is one of the (many) reasons I am making such an effort to keep it streamlined and free of bullshit. They will be picking apart every sentence to help them better understand the essays, or trying to discover whether anything I wrote in here contradicts anything I said in there. Just like they do with Nietzsche's letters, etc. It's just that no one writes letters any more, so as far as I am concerned, the scholars of the future will get this forum instead.

Funny thing is, for the longest time I would be extremely reserved in my forum commentary, so that the smarter readers would not be able to connect the dots themselves and write my books before I got around to doing it. But then I observed that the more I revealed THE LESS capable people became at figuring out what comes next. I mean at this point most of the bits and pieces of the theory are more or less scattered throughout the forum (and all the books, essays, and articles linked here), and yet if I dropped dead tomorrow it would still be extremely unlikely that anyone would EVER manage to get anywhere near my theory without me. The lighting would strike and no one would ever know what had happened!
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Unread postby icycalm » 10 Feb 2011 10:15

My hard drive contains perhaps four or five hundred pages of notes. If something happens to me, someone should try finding my parents and asking for them. Then publish them somewhere and hope for the best.
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Unread postby icycalm » 10 Feb 2011 11:41

And, by the way, there are already people doing this. Like this guy for instance:

http://rydia.net/udder/!crap/lolMax/

It's just that he is stupid, utterly uneducated, and not a scholar. Many of the scholars will also be stupid, but at least they'll be a bit more educated than him -- though not necessarily more agreeable for that reason.
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Unread postby icycalm » 28 Feb 2011 14:22

Raphael managed to waste a little bit more of my time today via email. Continued from here:

http://forum.insomnia.ac/viewtopic.php?p=14721#14721

Raphael wrote:Hi,

Sorry, I guess I once again edited my post while you were answering me, or have been a hassle any other way.
I am certainly not happy about being banned, but it's your site and your choice. My apologies if I bothered you.

But, it seems that being banned, I can't read the forum anymore. And I really want to be able to keep on reading.
Could you please make it possible ?

Sincerly yours,


Raphael


Raphael wrote:Ok,

Had to go through a proxy to read the thread.

Now, I DIDN'T read your answer before I made my edit. And I now realize it can be understood another way, but I actually meant "for now" as opposed to "for the future". This because I was puzzled by your inclusion of future times in the question. Before I submitted it I was already trying to express it in a concise way. I fought I found a good one afterwards.

Ok wrong.

But really, banned for that? Too bad.


I wrote:Raphel, normally when people email me I don't answer. I am only answering here because you are a long-time poster.

Dude, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT. I HAVE THE FATE OF THE ENTIRE PLANET SITTING ON MY SHOULDERS.

Now, I realize you are incapable of understanding this, but nevertheless I just want TO BE LEFT ALONE TO GET MY WORK DONE.

So please leave me alone.

The other choice is to close down the forum. But it is still valuable to me, so I would just rather ban a lot of people instead. If I make mistakes now and then and ban the wrong people, it can't be helped. It is up to the posters to read my rules and try to communicate with me in a non-retarded, non-weasely manner. If they are not capable of doing this (and most people are) then they can simply READ the damn thing. Communicating directly with me is A PRIVILEGE, and as time goes by one that will be extended to FEWER AND FEWER PEOPLE.

I won't be replying to any more emails. Take care.
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Unread postby icycalm » 08 Mar 2011 20:25

David Best wrote:I've been reading on and off for a few years now, and just felt compelled to actually thank you for maintaining this presence online. The first time I came across your site it was because a friend had linked me to your article on Arcade Culture, and I was immediately blown away. You were saying things that had been on my mind for a very long time almost to the letter, things that I'd struggled long hours (to little avail) trying to make many others around me understand.

I can't say I agree with every review you've ever posted, but even when I disagree I find myself hard pressed to disprove any of the points you make in your writing. No More Heroes is a game I enjoyed, but I was admittedly disappointed with many aspects of it as I played through. So disappointed in fact, going into it with Killer 7 fresh in my mind, that I initially dropped the game less than an hour into it and didn't come back to it for over a year. I'm certainly not trying to make any point about hidden quality in the game or anything along those lines, but when I revisited it some of the overall stylishness and excitement in the presentation of the boss fights pulled me in enough to finish it with positive feelings overall.

With a handful of outstanding reviews, I generally find your line of thinking and opinions to be completely in line with my own. It saddens me to see the overall negative view of the site across the internet due to the hive mind mentality of the gaming community anymore, and means a lot to me to know that there's at least one more person out there that still knows what video games are and should be.


Regarding his comments on my No More Heroes review: typical subhuman reaction. They do not parse the text sentence-by-sentence; they skim most of it and in the end retain only a vague "feeling", a mere sentiment, from everything you've written. So he "disagrees" with my evaluation of No More Heroes because he liked the "overall stylishness and excitement in the presentation of the boss fights" -- WHICH IS PRECISELY WHY I GAVE THE GAME TWO STARS INSTEAD OF ONE (something which, of course, I also note in the body of the review -- though naturally enough not in the same exact words).
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Unread postby icycalm » 11 Mar 2011 21:44

Chris Wagar wrote:Alex Kierkegaard,

I'm sure you get asked the "why don't you make a game if you think you're so smart?" thing a lot, so I'll spare you with a more specific question.

The Spelunky source code has been released for anyone to edit. You despise that game last I recall for a variety of reasons. Your article brought up a ton of good points on how the game could be better. Frankly, I lost interest in the game very shortly after starting due to it being such a pain to do basic things, making the whole game more complicated than necessary.

How about you download the source code, make all the changes to it you can to make it a better game, then release your edited version on their forums. The license provided with the source code should allow for such things. After all, what better way to criticize a game than to do a better job at it than the original creator?

Having worked in GMK myself, I can assure you that it's a very easy language to learn, compared to things like C# or more complex languages, which I have also worked with.

I hope you consider my proposal, and wish you good luck should you choose to attempt it.

Thanks,

Chris Wagar


lulz
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Unread postby icycalm » 15 Nov 2011 03:25

Insomnia Customer Service:

Hello Mr. Zirbas. I subscribed to your website and forums for the
previous 10 euro price, and I believe I was banned for my initial
welcome post, under the user name "****". I'm not sure why it was a
bannable offence, but regardless, I decided to pay another 25 euro to
one-more be able to view the site's "featured" content. Since that
decision I have really seen nothing worth any sort of price, money or
my own time, coming from your website or writers. Your most-recent
"feature", a comment which you moved from the open Casual forum into a
front-page piece, was a waste of the brief time I spent reading it,
something I was not accustomed to from your previous pieces, and
certainly not something I was expecting after dropping 25 euro to
subscribe to your website's content. To avoid any future wasting of my
own time, I would like to opt-out of my account. If you are willing to
refund the 25 euro to my PayPal account, that would be preferred.
Either way, I am not likely to continue being a reader.

Let me know if you would like any feedback on your website. I assume you do not.

Thank you for your efforts in clarifying Nietzschean philosophy and
applying the ideas therein towards videogame criticism. I hope you
continue to do well at that in the future, as I am sure you will.

Thanks.



Hello *****,

We are sorry but we do not provide refunds. There is more than sufficient freely-accessible content on the site for prospective subscribers to make an informed decision. Nor do we close accounts before the subscription's expiration date without due cause.

We hope you have found this information helpful, and wish you best of luck with IGN or Gamefaqs, or any other gaming sites you read.

Regards,


The Insomnia Staff
http://culture.vg



I wonder how many more fuckfaces like this one I am going to get. Writing these emails is kinda fun too. You can be all efficient and robot-like, and see how many sly insults you can include without sending the fuckface into a rage. For now I have a couple of stock emails, and I am okay with sending them out (though I'll probably install an extension of some kind soon that handles subscriptions automatically), but if the customer service thing ends up getting more than like a dozen emails a month, I'll get someone else to handle it for me.
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Unread postby icycalm » 21 Feb 2012 21:05

Bo Banducci wrote:Subject: truly awesome stuff

Hello Alex,

I recently discovered your articles and am having a fucking fantastic time reading through them. I'm thinking about subscribing to your site, but I can't tell if its still active. Are you still maintaining it and writing for it?

I'm learning to develop games, and have already learned a valuable thing or two from your essays, so I hope you keep writing.

Bo


It goes without saying he's not getting a reply.
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Unread postby icycalm » 13 Mar 2012 14:01

Chris Deliz wrote:Alex,

I just today stumbled upon your website and was honestly surprised to
see that it was full of a great many articles expressing opinions that
I too have felt but as of now have yet to start writing about. I've
been recently exploring games much more deeply myself and have only
very recently started a blog with the intent to share my ideas, and
from what I can tell your website is practically a working proof of my
own desires. The articles that I've read so far have highlighted many
of my current qualms with the game industry (in particular, those
about game news sites and indie game designers), and while I don't
always agree with what's said (100% cohesiveness in thought would be
pointless after all), it's nice to see that others around the net feel
the way I do and are just as willing (if not more so) to articulate
and spread their ideas to the public on a deeper level than most game
writing. Could you tell me more about this website, or perhaps about
yourself and how you started out? I tried to check some of the About
pages but only saw a good number of dead-end blank pages.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Regards,
Chris


"Cohesiveness" in thought is pointless, he doesn't agree with what I am saying but doesn't bother providing counter-arguments, or even so much as mentioning what those things are, doesn't offer any comments of substance whatsoever, and can we be penpals.

Subhumans, lol.
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Unread postby icycalm » 18 Apr 2012 20:02

Richard Terrell wrote:I thought I'd share my blog and my thoughts with you.

http://www.critical-gaming.com/blog/201 ... y-pt1.html

That's a 6 part series making a case for the word gameplay and why it's so important. Perhaps we can discuss a few things.

Peace,

Richard Terrell (KirbyKid)


I wrote:I'd rather have a discussion with my poodle. He's much smarter than you.


Richard Terrell wrote:I'm sorry you're having such a rough day that you felt like insulting me via email.

Cheer up,

Richard Terrell (KirbyKid)


I wrote:I am sorry you are having such a stupid day that you felt like trying to communicate with me via email.

Wise up,

Alex Kierkegaard (icycalm)


And he will certainly reply. This sort of thing can go on for days, which is why it was a mistake replying to him in the first place. That's why I practically never answer emails. The good ones end up with the person trying to be my friend, and the bad ones with jeering like this that never ends. It's much simpler to just not answer, or to answer in this thread, where they can't reply. And the funny thing is that my day was nothing short of wonderful, the only black mark being his emails.

But anyway, I clicked on the link and came upon a page with Donkey Kong graphics or whatever, so I immediately placed him in the inbred category and didn't bother reading anything. It's a transparent attempt to get linked here and gain a few extra hits, in the same manner that that Ghetto moron is overjoyed every time I send him a few extra "readers". As if anyone coming from here would ever take any of these retards seriously. I could link their junk-blogs from right off the top of my frontpage, and a year later they still wouldn't have any readers. I mean, the new inbred calls himself "KirbyKid", lol. He is not even capable of coming up with a screename that doesn't immediately communicate INBRED RETARD TEENAGER, and he wants to write "6 part series" of articles, lol.

Keep scribbling dude. Whatever floats your boat I guess.
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Unread postby icycalm » 25 Nov 2013 13:28

Iam NotRegret wrote:Thanks for your article: Arcade culture

Your article made me re-think arcade games and now I can enjoy them much more than before.

When I was growing up my favorite arcade game was Sonic Wings. I would go to the machine whenever I had money and shove in quarters. I had no concept of 1ccing games so like most people in the united states I quarter fed. Often I would just end up killing bosses due to bomb spam. It was still fucking fun though even though I would quarter feed and get to the hard levels where I had absolutely no chance for surviving for more than a few seconds. One day I came to the arcade with more quarters than normal and managed to buy my way all the way to the final stage. When I died in there and put in a new credit rather than re spawning right where I left off the game sent me back to the start of the level. It was absolutely frightening, when it happened a second time I knew it wasn't a bug. This level couldn't be beaten by quarter feeding. I fed a few more credits realizing now that I needed actually dodge all the enemy fire and save my bombs for an upcoming boss. I got my ass kicked and left the machine knowing there was no way I could get through it.

I never thought the game was impossible. The concept of survival was simple enough. Position your ship so you don't get hit by bullets. The very idea of going through an entire stage on 1 life (let alone something as hard as the final stage) seemed beyond what a human could do. I asked an older player (guy in his early 20s) about the game. "How do you get through the last stage if you restart after dying?" He just gave me a stupid look. He might given me an obvious like "don't get hit" I don't remember. That was one of the most crushing moments I had as a gamer. I went to the arcade a lot less after that and didn't play sonic wings anymore.

Fast forward a few years and emulator technology has gotten better. I now have access to all the arcade games I want, unlimited credits, for free. I played around with that for a few days but it seemed to lack the joy I had in the arcade. I would go through a game with infinite credits, beat it than be bored and never start again. On the other hand when I had my emulators for nes and snes I loved them. I spent countless hours playing contra, gradius, mega-man, ninja gaiden. All games with the arcade spirit. I didn't use save states either played them all correctly and loved the experience. I guess I knew not to use save states because I had grown with the original consoles. Save stating was a new concept and it was pretty cool to fool around with it and abuse it but after doing that for a few days it could got boring. The games were much less fun with save states so I quickly learned to never use them. I was more clueless about how to play an arcade game so it never occurred to me to limit my continues when emulating them.

I never gave arcade games much thought after that. There was old games on emulators and new games on consoles. No one I knew talked about arcade games and most of my old hang-outs had deteriorated. I remember going back to my old hang-out and seeing Sonic wings was replaced with some shitty sports game.

Fast forward again and I found your website by accident on google. Arcade culture stuck out to me as an article. I had never really seen an intelligent article on the subject. The idea of 1ccing an arcade game, even an easy one seemed insurmountably hard. I've always liked challenge and I felt pretty confident as a gamer. I had beaten numerous NES games so maybe I can handle the arcade now. I went back to my old mame emulator. I tried 1ccing various games, shmups, platformers, beat em ups. My first impression with limiting myself to only one credit was that I needed to completely re-think how I would played the game. I couldn't bomb-spam anymore in shmups and every little jab an enemy did on me in a beat em up had consequences. The games were more intense and there were elements of strategy. I needed to fight for every life, every chunk of health. It was a lot more engaging than before but also a wake up call for how weak I was as a gamer.

Initially I set myself up with 3 credits to a game (the same number of continues contra and other console games give you) than I lowered myself down to 2 than 1. I noticed that my 2nd and 3rd credits didn't actually do much. First credit would take me to about the limit of where my skills matched the enemy and going any further than that made the game less enjoyable and not take me very far anyway. I was really impressed how in (the well designed) arcade games 1 credit seemed to be the perfect amount of lives/health.

At this time I didn't really have an urge to credit feed on emulation. Watching the game over timer count from 10-0 sometimes I did throw in some extra credits from time to time although those wern't very exciting. I wanted to go back to the early stages and do them right. Eventually the game over time became a curtain-fall. I would watch the timer go down and reflect on what I learned that run, sometimes feeling satisfied when I had reached a particular stage. Sometimes I would even put my initials in the high score even though MAME would wipe the highscore emulator after I closed the game.

I jumped around from game to game and eventually realized that I would need to pick 1 and stick with it if I ever wanted to 1cc anything.

Eventually I decided that out-zone would be the game I 1cc. It wasn't the easiest arcade game but it had a catchy soundtrack which made me want to keep retrying. The game also told you the % complete you did of the game which was such a huge insensitive to improve myself. It was a long journey that took months and hundreds of attempts. The transformation from losing a life at the first screen in the game, being clueless to the enemy ai, dying from the games time limit and being terrible at piloting the game's avatar to storming through the gates, blitzing through the barricades, blowing up enemies the moment they spawn, complete understanding of every possible an enemy could take and how to counter it, finishing a level with 10 fucking bombs stacked up was indescribably wonderful.

After several months of playing it I finally 1cc'ed it probably one of the best experiences I've had with gaming. Mastering an arcade game is unlike any other experience. Each play through is a rush of adrenaline that never stops till you die or win. I've gotten better and have also 1cc'ed metal slug and the original contra.

On the other hand I want to go back in time and punch my younger self in the face for wasting my opportunity to experience an arcade scene. How much more skilled would I be if I had been playing by the 1cc rule since back than? What was the social scene like in arcades? I'll never know, the arcade scene is dead in the USA.

Emulation is my proxy for having a real arcade scene, its not the true experience but its so much fucking fun and I thank you for showing me how to play arcade games properly. I've gone through more arcade, most of them I can't 1cc but the way of playing with only 1 credit makes them so much fucking fun. I haven't gotten this much entertainment of games since my childhood experiencing contra and gradius for the first time. I'd love to go the japan and see what its like there but with my current situation thats not gonna happen any time soon.

I really want to thank you for showing me this experience. Its really expanded what I can play and brought me so much enjoyment.

Now I'm worried about the future of arcade styled games. Its true what you said. The older generations of games (nes, snes, genesis, etc) were only able to produce amazing games because of their arcade roots. Games have moved away from that. The modern generation of games have a model where you are guaranteed to win as long as you don't uninstall the game: minor or nonexistent penalties for dying, slow passive enemies, entire rooms or even whole chapters devoted to some gimmick, and terribly slow pacing. The entertainment doesn't come from mastering and understanding the game's rules and mechanics anymore.

I grew up with older games on the nes, snes, and sega so I had an understanding of what it arcade styled games where like. The games are fast, brutally difficult, and demanded a lot of from you. Getting a game-over was a natural part of the game. You would die over and over. Often you would never be able to complete the game. You didn't care if you did though. You lived in the moment.

The process of going from playing an NES game to playing an arcade was relatively smooth.
I was already used to having limited continues and lives.
I already knew you had to improve as a player to reach the next stage.
I knew that 99.9% of the time If I got hit by an enemy it was avoidable and means I made a mistake.
I already expected the game to not hold me hand or provide me with easy solutions to the challenges.

I've never been able to convert someone born in the newer generations of games. The idea of playing a game to challenge yourself is too foreign them. The idea of dying to the same scenario more than once makes them want to leave. No shiny achievements or shallow level up system doesn't treat their ego well. I've tried starting them on easy arcade-styled games with detailed polygons (f-zero gx and neo contra back when they were current generation) but as soon as they run into a wall rather than trying to find a solution they stop playing. If they game over twice in a row to the same obstacle they dont want to play even if I try to tell the how to win.

Taking someone used to modern style games and trying to teach them seems hopeless and it makes me worry for the future of gaming.

Maybe theres some hope. Modern arcade styled games like megaman 9 and touhou series have a caught a few gamers attention. Even if they happen to be pretty easy its a step in the right direction.

In conclusion your article Arcade Culture is easily the single most influential piece of gaming literature I have ever read. I've probably learned more about the nature of video games from your articles than all other editorials I've read combined. I feel like I've seen a whole new range of mountains to climb.


I wrote:It's not about playing a game "to challenge yourself". If I want to challenge myself I'll go surfing or read Baudrillard. Videogame challenges are trivial if you don't have some kind of physical or mental handicap. It's simply that, in order to get the maximum enjoyment out of some games, you have to make sure you don't ruin their level of challenge, because this challenge was an integral part of the package when the designers made the game, and if you ruin it you are ruining the package.

The most influential thing I have written on games is my Genealogy, by the way. Arcade Culture was great for 2007, but this is 2013 ;)


Iam NotRegret wrote:There's definitely more meaningful or complex ways to expend energy. Video games are more engaging to me than philosophy or sports. Virtual monsters, death, and battle are much more exciting. You understand all those boring, complicated texts written by dead germans as well as electronic games better than me so I'll take your word on which is superior. ^_^

Personally I've always thought that the approach to making games challenging is the best way to design a game. Games are pretty shitty at being cinematic or having good story-telling. Proper story-pacing is impossible to maintain with constant combat among many other problems. There are games where the enjoyment comes from exploration, atmosphere or discovery but those are very fleeting types of satisfaction. After you explore a metroid or zelda once you already know where everything is so the 2nd or 3rd playthrough is much less enjoyable. Something like a rail-shooter or contra is more long-lasting.

I like most of the Geneology articles a lot of the ideas are importaint for a more global understanding of games as a whole like clarifying what rpgs are (or rather that they dont exist in the electronic form). I think you are overly critical of japanese rpgs though. I'll concede the japanese side of rpgs is horribly bloated. Most of the games are 4-6 times longer than they should be to meet some arbitrary standard about how long the game is. As far as action games with heavy-emphasis on character stats (action rpgs) I think the japanese are better than the western counter-parts. Compare diablo 3 to one of the more recent Ys games for instance.

I didn't understand why most your later writing has such an accusative and angry to tone them. Than again I distance myself from modern gaming culture as much as possible and would probably be pretty spiteful if I had to involve myself in it.

Also if it makes you feel any better you are the only journalist I ever had crush on ^_^


I wrote:You haven't even been able to figure out which article I meant by the "Genealogy"... And all your other ideas about games are retarded... And that makes sense given how physical and mental activity is "boring" to you and the only thing you seem to like is pressing buttons. The "2nd or 3rd" playthrough lol. And you wonder why I am angry. Just do yourself and me a favor and go back to reading IGN, please. The less you talk about my ideas the less you will pervert them.
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Unread postby icycalm » 05 Oct 2014 04:04

Luís Magalhães wrote:Thank you: Piece on Leigh Alexander

I just read your 2009 piece on Leigh Alexander.

Thank you for that.

I've been feeling that writing has been neutered by the Internet. People are passionless; afraid to offend. Afraid to go outside the norm, the predominant opinion. Everything is dull.

I know the piece is old. But I read it just today. And it felt good, just the intensity, the lack of fear of offence, the lack of politically correct neutering. It felt like you were wearing your feeling on your sleeve as you wrote it.

Thank you for that.

I'm going to go write now. It feels good again.

Luís Magalhães


"Lack of fear of offence" lol. Fear of what? Offence to whom? I can scarcely fathom how anyone could be afraid of anything on the internet, and he's making me out to be some kind of fearless demon because I slagged off some slut I've never met and never will.
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Unread postby icycalm » 09 Jan 2018 16:39

Sebastian Radzikowski wrote:Hey buddy, you seem to be the Scaruffi of Video Game reviews and that's exactly what I'm looking for. Nice to see you call out Pong and Indie games for their bullshit.


I love it when a reader calls the greatest art theorist and critic of all time "the some unknown nobody of videogames". It shows how much they've understood of what I've said.

In short, I am not what he's looking for, but who knows how much time it will take him to realize that. And when that time comes, he will surely blame me for his misunderstanding too.

I remember someone calling me "the Dan Savage of videogames". That was like a decade ago, and I still have no idea who that person is. Lots of other such moronic comparisons that I forget now.

All these uneducated internet losers simply have no reference points to help them parse who I am and what I am doing, since they've never read anything worthwhile in their entire lives.
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