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Unread postby icycalm » 15 Jan 2008 01:47

Sometimes I get some pretty funny emails, and sometimes I send back some funny replies (or at least I would like to think they are funny). Here's one I just got:

Aloha, Alex, and Happy New Year! J

First of all, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your article on the various Akihabara game shops. Just the info I was looking for!

I will be headed to Tokyo (first trip ever!) in Oct with my two sons, ages 9 and 12. They are HUGE video games fans, particularly Nintendo DS, Wii, and PSP. My question to you is if we buy games in Tokyo, would we be able to use it on our U.S. consoles? Could you please let me know what specifics I should look for before purchasing any games?

Mahalo!

alyson

Alyson Kakugawa-Leong

Director Media Relations

University of Hawai`i at Hilo



And my reply:

Hello, you will only be able to play the DS and PSP games. Those are region-free. Wii games, on the other hand, are region-locked.

Also, make sure you only buy action games that don't have much dialogue, and make sure your sons are bright enough to successfully stumble their way through Japanese options screens.

Just kidding!



I think I should maybe start a reader mail section. There's all kinds of weirdos emailing me, and I think I could milk some laughs out of that.
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Unread postby Flying Omelette » 15 Jan 2008 03:06

Oh, man, you wanna talk about weird emails?

Hello,

I noticed a face behind the second image in the Insector-X Review for the Sega Genesis console. Or rather, when you scroll the page up and down you can see shapes that slightly resemble a face, but might just as well be something entirely different.

Anyways; I was curious as if this was some kind of coincidence (Doubtful, but still) or if it was intended? If the latter, who is this person?

Sorry if this is common knowledge on the site, or if you get heaps of these kinds of messages on a daily basis, but I am far too curious to simply let something like this go ^^.

Thanks in advance, Viks.



My response:

I'm not sure what image you're referring to. The title screen image of Insector-X has a honeycomb behind it with the face of a wasp looking through each hole. (When seen in the actual game, it's fully-animated.) Is that what you mean?

His reply:

Thanks for the fast response, unfortunately that was not the image I was thinking about. I inserted the one I had in mind in this mail.

Image

Now, you can't see the "hidden" image in this picture, but it is easy to do so if you scroll up and down while looking at the picture on the site (http://www.flyingomelette.com/reviews/g ... ctorx.html, I am aware that you
probably can navigate through you own site, I am just really helpful).

The image I see right now when scrolling is a man sitting down wearing a suit and seemingly smiling at the camera, so it is abit different from the last one. Perhaps it changes during time.. Hum.

(I also asked a friend if they also saw this, just to validate I have not gone insane).


My reply:
I don't see it. What browser are you using and what version? Is it possible to take a printscreen of it?


I got no further response. My conclusion: This guy was seeing his own reflection in the monitor, which shows up easily against the black background of that screenshot.

More stuff:

Hey, there's a submitted fan pic in your Kid Icarus Shrine and it's done by an Adam Ford. Would you have contact to this guy because I wanted to get a tattoo of his drawing and would like to request a higher resolution pic for the tattoo artist. Thanks!



I gave him a link to Adam Ford's blog. I don't know if I should have but whatever. Maybe he'll get a laugh out of this guy, too.

A lot of people don't normally get 'feed back' like they should but I came across your page and was very amused by your nes oddities page, I enjoyed the thing about blaster master and the mech game. I own both the games, I actually had bought blaster master when it came out and I received that mech game as a gift along with 180 degrees wich was basicly the most awful skateboarding game ever, and un compared to today's version skate games, awful controls.


Reminds me a lot of this.

You have an error on Oddities 34: Switched at Birth? Part 13.

It on the subject why Chrono looks like Gohan and vice versa.

The thing is, Akira sometime works for Square, and Chrono Trigger was one of the games where he made the character art. An other game example is Dragon Quest VIII.


Um, yeah. It says that on the page.

Wow great site! I'd also love to leave a suggestion for your game cameos and instances area, encase this hasn't already come across, listen to Ken's stage song from Any of the original Street Fighter 2 games and you'll notice the whole beginning, mid, to entire song is that of an homage or borrowed spoof to Cheap Trick's "Mighty Wings" from the Top Gun Soundtrack! Have a good day!


Man, I was constantly getting emails about that "Mighty Wings" thing, and this was long after I retired that section.

the song you've got for Slash is opus 13... I'm assuming you mixed up tthe titles? you mistitled the Opus 13 and slash to have the title of the other songs, if i am right


I had no idea why, but I was getting a lot of emails saying this, but the titles were taken directly from the official soundtrack. A little research showed me that someone sequenced a midi of "Slash" and put the wrong title in the info tag and I wonder if that's why people were emailing me this. But I think the official soundtrack is a more reliable source than some fan-sequenced midi.

I recently realized while elistneing to "Then Den' Tha there appears to be a bit of "Cross your hHeart' From "Haunted Caslr" in ther asws well as the two songs you mentioned- I havenpt listened ot the MP3 yet.


Uh, what? The first sentence says he listened to the mp3, the last sentence says he didn't...I think...

the mp3 you have listed as 'garian and kay's fmv' is actually the ending theme for parallel 1 (the depressing one). just wanted to point it out... dark savior is one of my favourite games and i have spent many a happy hour endlessly replaying it looking for parallel 6. you can torrent the complete soundtrack to it now, can't remember where but you should look for it.


It seems like every single time someone writes in a "correction" to the music section, their correction is always wrong. That FMV theme song is NOT the ending for parallel 1. It occurs in a cutscene right before you fight the final boss of parallel 2. Geez!!

In your switched at birth articles, you complained about the trend of "hawk nosed" anime characters, concerning Jet of cyborg 009 fame and J of GaoGaiGar. This is incorrect. For one thing, both these characters were released in two completely different times. For another, it is affirned that J is a tribute to Jet.


#1. It's not a "complaint" it's an "observation".

#2. How is it "incorrect" if they both have bird noses???

#3. Okay, so this person is saying the two can't be SAB material because they were released in different time periods, yet it's confirmed that J is a homage to Jet. Jeez, man, that email could cause a universe implosion!

I've read your story about the corpse sitting at the desk at Level 3 in Ikari Warriors, and i've read on GameFAQS that it contains a secret. The site says you need to destroy the corpse with grenades or missles, and shadows will appear on the front side of the desk. You need to line up horizontally with the shadows and grenade the floor. A stairway will open up if you did it right. It says the stairway placement is random every time you play the level. Once you go to the stairway, you will clear Level 3. I dont know if you figured this out by yourself, but if you did, just ignore this message. I hope this helps! From Omega Essence, the ultimate gamer!


People like to send me the most random information. I have screenshots in that review of the final level. Of course I got past that part!!

Dear Mr Omelette.

I was thinking of restarting Alundra2 but before i get started I had a question for someone who had actually played through it, Namely does Mephisto ever take control of the princess using his keys? I would like to know this before tackling what is perhaps one of the most difficult action/puzzle games ever devised.


WTF?? Why would that bit of information be important in deciding whether to play the game?


HONEN/DEUCE! HONEN/DEUCE! I LOVE IT!
You are A GOD, Mr./Mrs./Miss./Something Flying Omlette! This is a REALLY
COOL SITE!
And I hate you so very much for being awsome.


Image

OMG i just found your website through complete randomness looking up review for a game and i just want to say that i def think you need a good man in your life to keep you away from all these video games even though thats a tremendose (scuze the spellin) feet and i would bow down to you as my master if youve really beaten all the games you said you did anyway i REALLLLLLLY want you to add something to your site if you can of course. WHERES THE MUSIC FROM MARION PAINT!! and i absolutely love the DK soundtrack. Dave Wise is such a G. MUCH LOVE from the Birdman.


Spellin is scuzed.
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Unread postby icycalm » 15 Jan 2008 03:44

lolling my ass off at the last email!

I demand you post here ALL emails from guys coming on to you! (I still haven't received any of those yet, but I believe it's only a matter of time.)
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Unread postby icycalm » 15 Jan 2008 03:55

I'd say this is the most worthwhile email I've received -- worthwhile in the sense that it gives me an idea of the mindset of the average reader of this website. I hope I am wrong, but that's how things are looking at the moment.

Well, just happened to be reading through the wikipedia article about
akihabara and happen to end up reading your site's "top 10 games stores in
akiba". Be aware before reading further : I am assuming from your writing
and the general sense of sanity that i get from the article that you are a
hardcore game fan, but not a lunatic wannabe otaku freakwad like half the
kids that THINK they want to live in japan over here are. Ok , not that i
got that off my chest, I am simply inquiring as to some info regarding your
life in akihabara and whether the place really drives you insane or not. I
have been a gamefan my whole life, not just on the commodity aspect of it
but for a while i was workign towards a degree in game concept art and 3d
design, but that fell through. Anyway, I am quite educated on everything i
can possibly be aware of about your current residence within the mecca of
all things strange and awesome. Maybe heres my ultimate question : Ive
wanted to visit japan for about 8 years now, not just on the basis that I am
a big anime and game fan, (not to mention a supporter of alot of other
aspects of the zany culture), but also a serious studier of japanese history
and sociology
. I know the place isnt the golden glittering heaven like alot
of 15 year old sun-starven wackos overhere think it is, but i have been
motivated to spend a good amount of time overthere, possibly live there for
a few years for quite some time now. I simply want an opinion from someone
who has their head on straight as to whether living there is really alot of
fun, or whether the place just burns you out after a while with its nonstop
consumer buzz.

Essentially, I am going to move to japan anyway. I am studying japanese in
college and tend to be drawn to the place by some more than superficial
forces inside my head. However, after having read every article, forum,
book and guide i can about life in japan, Its very hard to come across a
relevant final verdict on the status of spending alot of time in a place
like akihabara. I know that it tends to be expensive compared to even some
parts of shibuya and shinjuku, so perhaps shooting to live in that area is
out of the question before I am occupationally established in the country.
If you have anything about life there that might shed some light on the
subject (seeing as how all of my knowledge is meare introspection without
actually having visited the place), it would be greatly appreciated. If you
dont have time for that kind of thing, just as good, i suppose i will find
out anyway, however, if you have a few minutes to perhaps splurge on some of
the stupid details of your lifestyle that might clarify whether living among
the elite sociopaths of the planet is worth the insane amount of
entertainment value that im sure your sorrounded by, please do tell.
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Unread postby Flying Omelette » 15 Jan 2008 04:12

icycalm wrote:lolling my ass off at the last email!

i demand you post here ALL emails from guys coming on to you! (i still haven't received any of those yet, but i believe it's only a matter of time)


Well, it'll be a tremendose feet, but I'll try.

If you really want to lollerskate, you should see the search terms people use to find my site:

The Journey Begins

The Saga Continues
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Unread postby MAXCHAIN » 15 Jan 2008 07:03

Thanks! I actually laughed so hard at those google searches that tears came out of my eyes.
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Unread postby Flying Omelette » 09 Feb 2008 01:17

Some more I found while going through old ones:

it culd be good cuz ur kidn of funny but u talk about old games n they suck u shuld make ur sight only abot new games then it would be better but now it suks u shuld cahge it


I love this site,I am a true gamer and have been playing since Atari came out back in the day.I am now on a mission to collect every NES game made,most of them anyways.But to put it shortly keep up the great work and play on playa!


Ok...



Hello there! I'd like to send you something to shut all these n00bs' mouths up

No Dolphin System reference
The signs with dolphins on the Big Blue stage are not a reference to GameCube's previous name. They were really part of the Big Blue racing track from F-Zero X. Sorry, but it gets on my nerves xD Oh, and the game is Super Smash Brothers Melee for GameCube, if you haven't figured out xP


Uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure all the dolphins Nintendo peppered around their late N64 games were indeed a reference to the codename of the upcoming console. I mean, c'mon, why else were they there?

I was under the impression that both this song ans "Singing mountain' Were in the Japanese game, but becsue of akll the extrza text in the American verson some music had to be cut- I'm certain tha's what I heard about "Singin Mountain" Whihc was the original Mouint Deazth theme.

Also I think I rmeber battle 2 being uised during the OCean Palace battle, but i'm not sure...

And I wish "Slash" looped more than once- it's really too short this way.I've seen soem confusion auit the name of this and Opus 13, and whihc belongs ot which- where'd you get your track info? if it qwas an official source then you might help
put the confusion to rest..


WTF???

Can you help me find the missing overworld tune in nsf format? Why is that .nsf file fucked up?


???????????????????

Hi, I have been a big fan of your website for a long time. I have noticed it is very easy to steal your pictures and copy your text and I thought I would give you some free advice to better protect your website. You can go here for free code for stuff to add to your website. Use it to stop surfers from easily saving your web page, viewing its source, or lifting images off your site. Go to: http://www.dynamicdrive.com/dynamicindex9/
The 3 I recommend to fix your problem are:
"no right click"
"disable image toolbar" and
"disable text selection" (this one is to prevent people from
highlighting & copying text as well as people dragging your image off screen and saving it)

I hope this helps your problem. Write back if you get a chance and let me know how it went. Like I said, Im a big fan of your site (especially the NES reviews section). Great site, keep up the good work (and use the stuff on that website to keep people from stealing your stuff).


I know this guy was just trying to be helpful. The problem with his suggestion is that a lot of the stuff exists on my site for people to be able to USE it. What's the point of having sprite galleries if people can't use them? Another problem is that this doesn't really stop thieves anyway. They can just download the whole page or printscreen it, or disable javascript. All it does is make it it impossible for me to be able to quote my own articles and link my own images and mp3s onto my message board, which I and others do quite frequently.
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Unread postby Fredrick2003 » 03 Mar 2008 03:03

Great emails.

It wouldn't hurt for people to read over what they write either.
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Unread postby GnaM » 06 Mar 2008 07:32

icycalm wrote:I demand you post here ALL emails from guys coming on to you! (I still haven't received any of those yet, but I believe it's only a matter of time.)


A LONG time ago, in my freshman year of high school I ran a crappy fansite on Evil Ryu and Akuma. I ended up sending emails back and forth with someone who liked my site, basically just making fun of Street Fighter characters, then they suddenly asked if I was seeing anyone and wanted to be my "online girlfriend" or something. Heaven knows if they were really even the gender they claimed to be. Unfortunately, the original messages are long gone.

As far as getting hit on by guys in real life, it's happened a few times and in some cases was highly amusing, but alas, no documentation exists.
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Unread postby icycalm » 02 Apr 2008 22:04

Hi there, I am writing to you regarding your review of No More Heroes. Firstly I must say that I have yet to play this game, so whilst I have no opinion of the game yet I disagree with how you portray yours. If you are going to review things then I urge you to have a certain form of proffesionalism.. Calling people clowns, and thick because they have a different opinion to that of yours and actually enjoy the game is not professionalism in any way. It just angers me to see reviewers who have such a biased view. If there are pages of people saying this game is actually very good, then it begs the question; Perhaps you are the one that is incorrect?

But no matter, I save judgement on the game untill I actually play it. I just feel that you ought to rethink your way of reviewing things, whilst your opinions play an important part of a review, they are that only.. Your opinions.

Thanks.


That does it, I am going to start replying to emails on the frontpage. This guy's reply will be:

"You stupid cunt, reviews ARE opinions, and your choice is to either take them or leave them. Now fuck off back to lamefaqs."
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Unread postby icycalm » 02 Apr 2008 22:13

"PS. and as for professionalism: I didn't see YOU pay me anything, motherfucker."

Meh, the fucking internet.
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Unread postby icycalm » 08 Jan 2010 12:52

Hello Alex,

I've been reading the books from your reading list. Concerning the amount of fields Nietzsche and Baudrillard cover in their Philosophies, should I be trying to get books in many different areas in order to better my chances of understanding these men? Or should I just concentrate on these Philosophers only and work to pick up on the information they are writing about? The reason I ask is to make sure I am using my time wisely to get a thorough understanding in order to keep moving forward.

Thanks,
Brooks Savoie


I wrote:Forget about philosophy. First learn when to capitalize nouns in the English language. Once you have mastered this extremely important skill, which by the looks of it may take you decades, we can talk about philosophy and philosophers.
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Unread postby icycalm » 20 Feb 2010 15:42

Continued from here: http://forum.insomnia.ac/viewtopic.php?p=12506#12506

Renato Pagnani wrote:Hey Alex,

"Apolline" is another term for "Apollonian," as that's the word that they use in the Nietzsche translation in the anthology that I've been reading. So that's not a mistake? Either way, I don't mean to be posturing, and I think it's kind of unfair that I'm banned for one indiscretion when others have been given many chances. I like being on the boards.

Renato


Renato Pagnani wrote:I like being on the boards.


And what makes you think that I care? This has nothing to do with "fairness" either -- proof that you haven't understood a word of Nietzsche's. There is no such thing as "fairness" -- it's just a cunning trick to force people to do what you want them to. But I don't fall for such tricks. The reason I banned you is because I don't like you. The reason I gave others second chances, or third or fourth or hundredth ones, is because I like them. The only thing whining and using cheap tricks like "fairness" does is make me like you even less, if such a thing is still possible.

Whiny bitch.


P.S. He has postured before, by the way, in the "Insomniac's reading list" thread, but I deleted it. Not that it makes any difference either way -- I would have banned him back then if he hadn't stopped posting and I hadn't forgotten about it.

P.P.S. And lol at his "I like being on the boards." He drops in once every six months to posture: that's what "to like" means in the case of little posturing retards like him.
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Unread postby icycalm » 15 Mar 2010 00:11

This dude used to be an admin at Insert Credit, and even banned me once (or twice, I can't remember for sure -- it's been a while).

Justin Freeman wrote:hey asshole

activate my forum account (extralife). I got fucking banned from SB and you need someone actually willing and able to engage you on your forums anyway. as if you wouldn't get off knowing you could ban me anytime you felt like it. SCRATCH MY BACK, ICY


I wrote:lol, no way the retards banned you.

But in any case I deleted your account when I saw it. There's no point dude. It is impossible for you to engage me. You can't even capitalize your sentences, for fuck's sake, let alone understand what the fuck it is I am saying to you.

Just chill and enjoy life dude. Insight is not for everyone.


I wrote:And the insult to my readers (that no one on my site can "engage" me) is ludicrous. There are people on my forums about 100 times as smart as you. I will simply name NighAligned, Worm, Bradford and Josh, among several others. These guys are fucking awesome, and they have engaged me repeatedly and at great length. A thorough read-through of the theory subforum will prove that. On SB (or IC or ABDN or whatever) you do not have EVEN A SINGLE guy as smart as these dudes.

So yeah.
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Unread postby icycalm » 24 Apr 2010 17:50

This dude Zio made a whole new fucking thread earlier today about Final Fantasy XIII -- IN THE OFF-TOPIC FORUM, which I deleted before banning him. Then the following exchange occurred via email:

Andre wrote:Subject: Apologies

Sorry, man. I should have asked you first. It doesn't matter, I don't post anyway.

Love your site.


I wrote:You should have asked me what, idiot? Whether game-related links go in the off-topic forum? Fuck off.


Andre wrote:Subject: Same to you, Alex.

How charming. :)

Does your mother know what a jerk-off you are online? Don't bother answering that, you're heading for the spam folder.

Goodbye.


I wrote:I am a "jerk-off" for banning people who want to lower the quality of my website? Does your mother know what an imbecile you are online?

And the only person spamming here is you. You spammed first my forum, then my inbox, while I didn't even know you existed. All I am doing is retaliating, and far more calmly than I would have liked to (I would have liked to crack your skull open with a sledgehammer if it were possible).

So yeah. Keep "loving my website", and I'll keep wishing that scum like you were wiped off the face of the earth by a hydrogen bomb.


The scum's email address is raphael_eva@yahoo.com
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Unread postby icycalm » 26 Apr 2010 20:20

Joshua Wubker wrote:Alex, I have to say that you have no idea how to run a forum. You're extremely nitpicky about things, even going as far to ban someone because they didn't space "[XBOX][PS3]" or some crap like that. You're incredibly critical about games even to the point of blatant trolling, and you try to impose fear on the people who browse on the forums. You ban assloads of people, seeing as in some threads, there's only 2-3 people who have posted and still are not banned. You are a very shameful person, and I really doubt you get along with many people, seeing as how you act on the internet. I can see you have a fascination with a certain German philosopher, and you nearly (If not completely) worship him. I really think your methods of moderating your forums are incredibly stupid, and you really need to rethink how you do things around the Insomnia website. You are potentially racist, telling people who don't speak english very well that people might think they're "Trailer trash" by not talking in gewd engrish and havin gewd capitilazashun. Also, why do you need to login to your administrator account, press the space button, log back out of the Admin account, and then log into your regular account. It's a bit easier to ask someone to change the topic, or better yet, don't even fuck with the damn thing. Your bans are made for extremely small reasons, which is utterly retared.I've even heard that you call women "abortive sub-humans". Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? Do you think that anyone who disagrees with you is an absolute peice of shit? You treat everyone like they're below you? You really need to rethink how your life is heading with how you act towards others.

tl;dr You're an asshole and shouldn't be moderating forums.

- Josh


Yeah, I can see what you are saying. It does seem that I "really need to rethink how my life is heading with how I act towards others".

Scum.

The scum's email address is scizor300@gmail.com
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Unread postby El Chaos » 26 Apr 2010 20:39

Hah, if he thinks you are a grammar Nazi and furthermore "racist" because you do not tolerate idiots who can't take two damn minutes to properly type their worthless replies, then he'd come to the conclusion that I'm a grammar Hitler or something. If he mailed me that "peice of shit" line, I'd have totally zykloned his ass over the Internet, lol.
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Unread postby icycalm » 26 Apr 2010 20:53

Let's think up some more absurd anti-grammar expressions for the benefit of the retards, because "Grammar Nazi" is beyond stale at this point.

Grammar Ted Bundy
Grammar Jack The Ripper
Grammar Mao
Grammar Stalin
Grammar Saddam
Grammar Bin Laden
Grammar Demon
Grammar Anti-Christ

Etc. etc.
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Unread postby icycalm » 26 Apr 2010 20:56

I might borrow this expression for use in future articles, by the way:

ChaosAngelZero wrote:I'd have totally zykloned his ass
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Unread postby icycalm » 11 Aug 2010 02:14

Gabriel Menotti wrote:Dear Alex Kierkegaard,

How are you? My name is Gabriel Menotti, I am an independent curator
and producer, and at the present time a PhD candidate at Goldsmiths
(University of London). Right now, I am organizing an online debate in
the empyre mailing list on the subject of /gaming subcultures/, to
which I’d like to invite you. I believe your experience as game reviewer
could do a great contribution to the topic.

The debate will address all of the collective practices constituted
around videogames that do not imply in actually (or only) playing the game.
It intends to discuss the abuse of platforms, creative circuits,
tactical consumerism and forms of collateral entertainment that have
been around since people went to early game arcades to chat, drink and
flirt. Possible topics include the “indie” and the emulation scenes,
mods/hacks, speedrunning, machinima, chiptune music, retro aesthetics,
fighting/rhythm game championships – and, last but not least, art
production. Of course, the debate is intended to be critical of these cultural
trends, not just appraise them.

The debate will occur in October. In the usual empyre fashion, it will
mix artists and researchers. In total there will be eight guests from
different parts of the world and field. Every week, two of them will
set the topics of discussion, and respond to threads as possible.

If you are interested, please get in touch and I will send you further
information about it.

Best regards,
Gabriel Menotti


lol
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Unread postby icycalm » 10 Sep 2010 22:14

Liam Campbell wrote:Hi Alex,

My name is Liam Campbell. I'm a recent graduate currently developing a casual MMO for facebook and I came across your site looking for inspiration on whether to cater our game to 'the masses' for financial gain or to bring in more complex elements. Our game will be more complex than a lot of the games on facebook but really nothing to brag about and little skill involved.

Anyway, I loved your articles 'On Depth, Complexity and Skill' and 'Arcade Culture'. I'm part of the younger generation who missed out on the golden age but I'm just wondering if you had considered reviving arcade culture on social networking sites? I'm just spit balling here but you could implement the same business model used in arcades by removing any games which don't cover their hosting costs. And maybe enforce the 1 credit rule or give incentives to follow it and encourage the Japanese mentality.

One of the pitfalls of facebook is that they make so much money from advertising that they have no incentive to create a portal to feature all of their games and the advertising costs aren't worth the money for small arcade games which are difficult to monetise but a lot of facebook gamers are disappointed with the quality of games on there and are seeking greater challenges. Personally I would love to see a one stop shop for games on the network and have a place where I could sustain a more complex version of the game we are currently making.

I'm new to the industry and inexperienced, and I haven't slept in over a day so please forgive me if I'm not making any sense but the average facebook user is 30- 37 years old and may just be nostalgic enough to make this work. Does this sound like a possibility to you? Or do you know anyone who would be interested in and/or capable of making it happen?

Regards,
Liam


What a boring idiot. And note the classic subhuman escape clause: "BLAH BLAH BLAH, BUT JUST IN CASE I WROTE ANYTHING STUPID NOTE THAT I HAVEN'T SLEPT/EATEN/DRANK IN A MONTH SO DON'T BASH ME PLZOKTHXBYE!"

The scum's email address is: lc_18@hotmail.com
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Unread postby icycalm » 22 Oct 2010 23:03

John Mawhorter wrote:I'm just wondering when your books are coming out and where to purchase them, since the site says Volume I was due out August of this year and the others say Coming 2010. While I don't agree with all of your opinions, you are one of few people who writes about video games I find myself agreeing with, so I'm looking forward to reading them.


I wrote:I am sorry, but if you don't agree with all my opinions you are banned from buying my books.

Have a nice day.
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Unread postby icycalm » 25 Nov 2010 13:55

Kinoko Tennou wrote:Hi,

Littering your writing with quotes from philosophers doesn't make you look any smarter. OK, it probably does for the stupid and uneducated, but if you're really aiming to participate in a conversation with intellectual equals, you need to stop resorting to lazy shit like that (not that you think to have you have equals... lol). A real writer doesn't need to rely on quotes from greater men to make their scribbles readable. It does reveal alot about your way of thinking though - you're nothing but a simple-minded parrot, happily squawking the same lines your masters taught you over and over again. You think you're a genius and that your writings will be preserved for millennia - but you base that only on the fact that Schopenhauer said that that is what happens to the work of geniuses! You're so inane it's almost embarrassing. To anybody who knows anything about Schopenhauer and Baudrillard, you're writing seems like nothing but shallow imitation.

I just wanted to join your forums to comment on the Spelunky thread, but since the account needs to be approved by you and as this is just a throw-away e-mail account whose password I've already forgotten I'm just going to send it straight to you (the introductionary insult is just an added bonus to rile you up).

"If anyone manages to explain this one I'll give him my website and retire forever from game reviewing."
You're such a fucking retard, your face is so high up in your ass that you think your genius is impossible to decipher even for your cronies, which I guess says a lot about the ass-kissing bunch of twenty-something inbreads that frequent your forums. The really, really sad part though is how already your "preview" of the review give away how wrong you are.

"Moreover, Spelunky cannot be said to have 'roguelike' elements either."
You fail at reading comprehension, but that seems to be a common theme throughout your texts so I am hardly surprised. I think this one sentence really demonstrates what a limited grasp of deduction (or is it just the English language?) you really have. Now I assume you're laughing out loud as you read this, as your infatuation with your own intellect will have you believe that you, with your intricate knowledge of Schopenhauer, will hardly have a problem with something as simple as logic. So lets then give you a pass and assume it's really the language that's your big problem. I'm going to give you a challenge: what does the sentence "Spelunky has 'roguelike' elements" mean? It's probably to overestimate your abilities to assume you have the slightest idea how to carry out any linguistic analysis on the random scat you type but do give it a try. Here's a hint, WORDS carry something we call MEANING. If you manage, you ought to see how your logic soon falls apart.

I won't log in to this e-mail again but if you post it in the Spelunky thread you might get lucky, I might remember to look back at your childlike insults and attempts at criticism if my temporary interest for your bizarre persona won't already have passed.

Best regards,
Tennou


Notice how he forgot to actually say anything. A common subhuman error.
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Unread postby icycalm » 18 Dec 2010 15:16

The Machinarium dude just won't leave me alone.

Callous Fire wrote:Thank you very much for taking the time to skim my review. I was so relieved that you only found fault in my review's style instead of its substance. In light of your published standards for reviews, this was the best possible response I could have hoped for!

"Writing ability is the very LAST thing on my mind when judging reviews: knowledge of the subject and critical ability, in that order, are far more important." -icycalm

Thanks also for showing me where I can improve. Professionalism, confidence, and clarity will be my primary goals from now on. I look forward to the rest of your indie reviews, even though I've just ruined my only chance to contribute.

-callousfire


P.S.
I'd save the word "ludicrous" for describing The Curse of Monkey Island's manual, which calls their action interface a "verb coin", despite it being a set of three unlabeled icons.


Imitated confidence is bluff confidence — if it doesn't come naturally you're only deceiving your readers. You are a terrible reviewer and an idiot to boot. Now stop spamming my inbox and try to do something worthwhile with your miserable little life, you fagot.

P.S.

P.S.
I'd save the word "ludicrous" for describing blah blah blah


No one cares what you'd save for what. You are an idiot, remember?

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Unread postby icycalm » 08 Feb 2011 19:06

Hey Alex:

It will have been a year this coming May since I first happened upon your website and I honestly can't thank you enough for it. Not only does it contain some of the best articles I've ever read (and likely will ever read) on both games and philosophy alike, but it acted as the final bit of encouragement necessary for me to start actually reading philosophy -- starting of course with Nietzsche as you've recommended. This has, as I'm sure you can imagine, drastically improved my quality of life, not just by the explaining away of various complicated philosophical problems, but also by the unique liveliness with which his wisdom departs. Second only to that effect of enlightenment which his work has on me, which you've aptly described in your forum somewhere as "being struck by a lightning bolt", is that great sense of feeling as though I'm amongst good company. With every chapter I read of Nietzsche he continues to systematically assess and affirm all those gut feelings I've had about morality, perspectivism, the origins of value, etc and all with such a wonderful sense of alacrity.

Your essays on game theory and video-game culture are also undoubtedly the best that the internet has to offer, as are your reviews. You simply can't find any place on the internet that takes games even half as seriously, let alone a place that is even half as enthusiastic about them as your essays betray. "On the Genealogy of Art Games" in particular has taken the whole thing to a new level and is an astounding feat in itself. Still your whole body of work is at once entertaining, educational, ruthlessly scathing, and at times downright hilarious. I've actually stopped going anywhere else to read about video-games because I scarcely need to -- all that I need is right there on Insomnia. The forums are spectacular also, and I find the mockery of your detractors telling. Anyone with eyes capable of perceiving quality would realize that your supposed "short-fuse" has cultivated a forum which is incredibly substantiative. I've basically combed over every forum post by now, going as far as years back and it's all still a treat to read.

I want to thank and commend you for all the good work you've done and perhaps let you know that at least one more person out there deeply appreciates it.

Take care,

Taylor Findlay
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