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The ugliness of "indie" games

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The ugliness of "indie" games

Unread postby icycalm » 03 Mar 2017 11:55

Shovel Knight, Hollow Knight, Knight with cheese on his head, Stunted Knight, Wretched Knight, Knights who sweep stuff really quick...

Does EVERY "indie" game feature ugly/stupid protagonists? Give me more examples if you have any. My theory of course is that the ugliness of the protagonists reflects the ugliness of the developers and players. If we had a few thousand webcam shots of these people, and then contrasted them with shots of people who play CoD, I think we'd have solid scientific proof.

I mean seriously.

Shovel_Knight.png


Even beyond the ugliness, WTF sense does it make for a knight to use a shovel as weapon? Try to imagine the kind of person who lies in bed at night thinking, "I know what that world needs! What the novelists and screenwriters of all ages have missed! A SHOVEL-CARRYING KNIGHT!"

People seriously recommend this stuff to me. The mere game's NAME turns me off completely. It utterly fucking annihilates any chance of immersion. What little boy would fantasize about being a "SHOVEL KNIGHT"?

A sick, ugly, stunted little boy, that's what.
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icycalm
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Unread postby icycalm » 03 Mar 2017 12:07

And note this is supposed to be the best of what "indie" games have to offer. This is a masterpiece compared to the utter dreck that people like Breadcultist and Helios play. And yet I'd struggle to give it a 2/5 merely for the name and protagonist design. I'd struggle to get as far as pressing start.
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icycalm
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Unread postby icycalm » 03 Mar 2017 12:21

If anyone cares to gift me Shovel Knight and/or Hollow Knight on Steam I can guarantee you one-minute reviews by Monday. Perhaps even within 24 hours. I may write full-length reviews instead, but I doubt it. I will probably just play them for 20 minutes, then trash them in one-minute reviews, then with my first-hand knowledge of the games pick good negative full length reviews from Steam to feature on the frontpage.

But I aint paying for this shit, so if someone has money to spare and is curious about what I think, gift them to me.
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Unread postby icycalm » 03 Mar 2017 18:14

alastair sent me Hollow Knight, thanks dude! Installing right now. You'll have a word from me soon.

I went through the negative reviews on Steam for both games, and they are all negative due to the difficulty. Nothing about the ugliness or the stupidity of the themes and protagonists, so the reviews are useless to me.
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icycalm
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Unread postby icycalm » 03 Mar 2017 18:43

Okay, well, this game isn't so bad lol. I'll start a new game and stream it later, once I am done with my workout for the day.
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