thatgamecompany

It was while "studying" for one of those fluff "interactive media" pseudo-degrees that universities are increasingly peddling to dumbass middle-class losers these days, that Jenova Chen and Kellee Santiago met and conceived their masterful scam: to rip off and dumb down the mechanics of classic videogame genres, while dressing them up with effeminate themes, in order to pander to the masses of ignorant and stupid slobbering fagots who have always had trouble parsing real videogames without their tiny little brains overheating and exploding. Moneybags would be amply provided by Sony, which would also ensure the co-operation of the multinational corporate behemoth's formidable PR machine, while at the same time giving Derek Yu his cut, thus gaining the "indie" baron's approval and full use of his ruthless and relentless propaganda machine. Success has been so quick and outstanding that it has stunned even the scammers themselves, who have spent the last few years spewing their hateful and asinine verbiage at conventions and museum exhibitions around the gullible Anglo-Saxon world, while laughing all the way to the bank. Chen and Santiago had played their cards right, and history validated how correct their scheming had been: videogames have indeed matured to the point where any incompetent and untalented asshole can make a name for himself by pandering, not to the masses, but to the by-now sizeable demographic of pseudo-intellectual hipster fuckfaces that reside below the masses, ever-ready to embrace and promote any old suitably packaged and promoted piece of shit as long as by doing so they gain a reputation for being 2deep4u among their stinking and despicable brethren, as well as the stupidest members of the general public. And the message has been received loud and clear among the masses of envious and greedy Game Maker drones, shut up in their bedrooms since birth and longing with a fierce desperation for money and fame: it's open season on the art of videogames, and nothing, not the slightest hint of compunction or remorse for the havoc they are wreaking to it, will stand between these compulsive hypocrites and the objects of their insatiable greed. Or, in the words of Jenovah Chen and Kellee Santiago, "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!1"



Scam History



Are 3D platformers too complex for you? Then remove all the platforming challenges, the enemies, the time limits, most of the moves, and most of the stage design, and cut the length down to a couple of hours so that no one will have enough time to get bored by the fact that all they are really doing is pressing forward, and voilà: you've got Journey (2012).




Are flight simulators too complex for you? Then remove all the complexity and replace it with essentially a mindless collectathon on auto-pilot, and voilà: you've got Flower (2009).




Was Pac-Man too complex for you? Then remove the mazes, most of the ghosts, the scoring, and most of the risk (hence also the reward), and reskin the entire thing with programmer graphics and bleep-blop "music", and voilà: you've got Flow (2006).