default header

Theory

lol

Moderator: JC Denton

Unread postby icycalm » 15 Jan 2008 01:56

Flying Omelette wrote:I thought it was a good read, but I can't comment on accuracy since I haven't played most of the games he's mentioned in it.


This is the reason I think he has such a good reputation. His writing is fluent and he doesn't make any egregious grammar/syntax errors. That alone puts him several steps above everyone else who writes about videogames in the specialist press. Same goes for Kieron Gillen and I guess a couple more guys like that.

But their actual game knowledge and understanding of videogames is barely above the level of everyone else, I think. Not to mention that the respect people give them goes to their head, and causes them to fill their reviews with even more blatantly wrong blanket statements than they would have otherwise used.

Personally, I would rather read a badly-written review by someone in some hardcore forum who knows what he is talking about, than all the well-written but worthless flowery passages these guys churn out on a regular basis.
User avatar
icycalm
Hyperborean
 
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 00:08
Location: Tenerife, Canary Islands

Unread postby icycalm » 15 Jan 2008 18:51

And speaking of Kieron Gillen:

Kieron Gillen wrote:That Kierkegaard piece may have destroyed what remains of my brain. My favourite bit is where he does that list of the Fall of Man scores, and says that him giving it the equivalent of 6/10 makes him infinitely better than the two magazines who gave it 7/10, which means they thought it was a classic.


Plus,

Simon Carless wrote:So ridiculous (especially the Resistance: Fall Of Man bit) that it simply must be linked.


And,

some dude wrote:Yeah, Kierkegaard from insomnia is getting more and more ridiculous...or should I say annoying. He should rename his ranting site to "Arcade fanboy going postal". The main problem are not so much his outlandish opinions but his absolutely intolerable arrogant tone that makes reading his reviews/rants really difficult recently.
The artfags paragraph at the end is just pure and sad hatetalk.


http://www.gamesetwatch.com/2008/01/gam ... p#comments

I am making more and more friends on the internet every day. Anyways, friends are overrated (enemies link you more).
User avatar
icycalm
Hyperborean
 
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 00:08
Location: Tenerife, Canary Islands

Unread postby icycalm » 17 Jan 2008 02:55

I think this is the worst review format I've ever seen:

http://notatrueending.insidepulse.com/articles/39612

Final Scores:

Story: 5/10
Graphics: 6/10
Sound: 6/10
Control: 5/10
Replayability: 6/10
Balance: 5/10
Originality: 5/10
Addictiveness: 5/10
Appeal: 7/10
Miscellaneous: 5/10

Overall Score: 55/100
FINAL SCORE: 5.5 (AVERAGE)


lmao
User avatar
icycalm
Hyperborean
 
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 00:08
Location: Tenerife, Canary Islands

Unread postby Phalanx » 17 Jan 2008 04:08

That scoring system makes absolutely no sense. Less is more, I thought that was universal?
User avatar
Phalanx
 
Joined: 14 Jan 2008 00:43

Unread postby Flying Omelette » 17 Jan 2008 04:24

icycalm wrote:I think this is the worst review format I've ever seen:

http://notatrueending.insidepulse.com/articles/39612

Final Scores:

Story: 5/10
Graphics: 6/10
Sound: 6/10
Control: 5/10
Replayability: 6/10
Balance: 5/10
Originality: 5/10
Addictiveness: 5/10
Appeal: 7/10
Miscellaneous: 5/10

Overall Score: 55/100
FINAL SCORE: 5.5 (AVERAGE)


lmao


http://crawl.flyingomelette.com/pranks/ssbm.html
User avatar
Flying Omelette
 
Joined: 26 Dec 2007 22:49
Location: Ohio

Unread postby Dale » 17 Jan 2008 04:37

http://crawl.flyingomelette.com/pranks/ssbm.html

Now this guy is deep, we need more people like him in gaming Journalism.
Dale
 
Joined: 04 Oct 2007 02:24
Location: Michigan

Unread postby icycalm » 17 Jan 2008 04:40

My god I haven't laughed this hard in weeks: Release Date Punctuality!


edit: Note to Dale: That guy is only joking. The first guy was for real.
User avatar
icycalm
Hyperborean
 
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 00:08
Location: Tenerife, Canary Islands

Unread postby Dale » 18 Jan 2008 00:11

That's too bad.
Dale
 
Joined: 04 Oct 2007 02:24
Location: Michigan

Unread postby JoshF » 19 Jan 2008 04:26

I've been trying to find a good quote from this site but every review seems to have a gem.

http://sega-16.com/
User avatar
JoshF
 
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 14:56

Unread postby Flying Omelette » 19 Jan 2008 06:27

User avatar
Flying Omelette
 
Joined: 26 Dec 2007 22:49
Location: Ohio

Unread postby BlackerOmegalon » 30 Jan 2008 18:20

Hello everyone.

Have any of you read this? They gave Rez a 10, but can you guess how much the actual review would score?

There's only one sentence where he mentions the game's mechanics.

Rez is an on-rails shooter where the extent of the gameplay involves moving your cursor and firing at objects.


From the next few words that followed the above quote, you can guess what the rest of the review will be about.

But viewing it as such would be absolutely missing the point. Rez is an experience -- a journey of the senses --


For a site that seemingly doesn't take a platform like the Wii seriously due to it's "non-games", they don't really seem to care much about game mechanics.

Have you read some of their other reviews for challenging arcade-like games or arcade ports? Examples: Trauma Center New Blood review (Joke-review?), Time Crisis 4 review(Alex may want to re-review the game :lol: ).
BlackerOmegalon
 
Joined: 30 Jan 2008 17:16

Unread postby icycalm » 30 Jan 2008 19:56

The thing with sites like 1UP is that if I started mentioning them here this thread would go to 100 pages in a couple of days. I mean we may rag on sites like HG101, but compared to 1UP they are the saviors of internet videogame writing. Which tells you all you need to know about how bad things really are!

I think I may start a lol subforum. Each site could then have its own lol thread. Perhaps I'll even add a lol section on the frontpage, linking to individual lol threads whenever they get updated. Another idea would be to start a brand-new lol website. Kinda like UK Resistance, only it would be called gamejournalistsaredumb.com and it would only link to and quote game reviews. And we'd even keep a high-score board with which sites have the most lols!

In conclusion: lol.
User avatar
icycalm
Hyperborean
 
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 00:08
Location: Tenerife, Canary Islands

Unread postby BlackerOmegalon » 31 Jan 2008 17:11

I usually don't give a sh*t about big mainstream gaming sites like IGN and Gamespot, as they are a known quantity, and have been for a long time. But 1up lately, seem to be trying to pull off a hardcore gamer image for thier editorial staff or something.
BlackerOmegalon
 
Joined: 30 Jan 2008 17:16

Unread postby JoshF » 31 Jan 2008 17:34

That Time Crisis one was great. If there were unlimited continues his opinion would shift from "waaaaaaaaaah I'm shit it's not worth 90 bucks" to "you'll beat it in ten minutes it's not worth 90 bucks" :lol:
User avatar
JoshF
 
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 14:56

Unread postby BlackerOmegalon » 31 Jan 2008 19:39

The most retarded thing he says by far is when he mentions Gears of War and Uncharted, while implying that all lightgun games are the same, except Time Crisis thanks to it's cover system (a novelty). It shows how mainstream reviewers view arcade games, which is as shallow and obsolete "experiences".
BlackerOmegalon
 
Joined: 30 Jan 2008 17:16

Unread postby Dale » 01 Feb 2008 06:52

I fuckin hate words like Novelty or Gimmick it's just a way for people to get around talking about how that element of the game effects the way it plays or works with the scoring system. I bet that Gears of War's own cover system was called a gimmick at one point. the worse part is is that simply dismissing a whole portion of how a game works as it being a Gimmick, a clone, a novelty, or just saying such and such part of the game is good or bad rather then saying what makes that portion good or bad is common ground in Video Game journalism. Just about any mainstream gamer will read something like that in a mag and somehow will feel that the examples of vague explanations I just described completely full filled their curiosity of what that part of the game is like.

What makes people love 1up so much more loved then any other site? Is it those web comics?
Dale
 
Joined: 04 Oct 2007 02:24
Location: Michigan

Unread postby BlackerOmegalon » 01 Feb 2008 08:55

Their podcast?
BlackerOmegalon
 
Joined: 30 Jan 2008 17:16

Unread postby JoshF » 01 Feb 2008 14:54

Bortumer (should I call you Blacker from now on?) you were telling me about that Space Giraffe review incident. I think that deserves to be archived here.
User avatar
JoshF
 
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 14:56

Unread postby BlackerOmegalon » 01 Feb 2008 15:55

It's acceptable to call me Master Smell.

The Space Giraffe thing happened when the Official Xbox Magazine UK scored the game a 2/10 (I couldn't find the review), and said many bad things about the game in the review. Jeff Minter (Space Giraffe creator, for those who don't know) then went on Partner Net (a closed Xbox Live network for developers and media), and checked out the reviewer's gametag and found that he had finished the game with the shittiest possible score ever, and that he didn't even have the easy giveaway acheivments.

Minter wrote:OK, I found him on the Partnernet leaderboards. Come to think of it I remember having seen his entries before because they were a bit unusual. He's on as 'OXM Dan' and he has NO achievements at all for Space Giraffe. It's really pretty hard to play SG for any length of time and get no achievements whatsoever; there are a few that are given out fairly easily by way of encouragement. Genius-boy here has managed to get none at all... In short, the leaderboards show that OXM Dan was playing the game in about the most shit way possible, and being absolutely crap at it. The leaderboards also show a lot of other people playing the game rather well, so we know it's not the game at fault here. Basically he was just rubbish.


Here's the reviewer's response to it: http://www.bunnyears.net/dan/?p=246
BlackerOmegalon
 
Joined: 30 Jan 2008 17:16

Unread postby JoshF » 01 Feb 2008 16:56

counterintuitive goal of rewarding the player for physically bashing enemies in a game with autofire

I get it, he doesn't know anything about risk/reward (good) game design. :lol:
User avatar
JoshF
 
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 14:56

Unread postby BlackerOmegalon » 01 Feb 2008 17:48

I think what's interesting about it is that it shows why some reviewers (especially mainstream) don't give out their gamertags, or review games with a seprate gamertags. It's so people don't find out that they didn't know what the heck they were talking about when they wrote that review.

If you look at the alot of the gameplay videos on the big sites, you can see that they generally aren't very good at games.

This is why I think one of the most important points Alex wrote in the Sequel article is that a review should be an expert on what he's reviewing. Sometimes, it's so obvious that a reviewer isn't experienced in the type of game they're reviewing, or just isn't interested at all.
BlackerOmegalon
 
Joined: 30 Jan 2008 17:16

Unread postby icycalm » 02 Feb 2008 05:30

I don't give out my gamertag either. With all those morons on the internet, the dumbest thing a reviewer can do is give out his gamertag. God knows how many games I have reviewed or will review without even getting 1/10th of their stupid achievements.
User avatar
icycalm
Hyperborean
 
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 00:08
Location: Tenerife, Canary Islands

Unread postby icycalm » 05 Feb 2008 17:56

I just wonder what arcade hardware it will be running on. Atomiswave, or maybe Taito's X2? And more important than that, I wonder when or even if we'll see a home port. And if we do see a home port, how would it be released? Digital distribution might be good for a title like DoDonPachi, though I wouldn't mind seeing a disc-based release as well.


http://www.siliconera.com/2008/02/02/do ... t-aou2008/

Man, these fucking clowns. Why can't they just stick to writing about stuff they know about? What's the point writing about stuff you obviously have no interest in? And it's not like their readers are interested in this game either.

I posted a comment and I am saving it here for reference just in case they delete it:

I wrote:Levi you are a clown. The game will run on a custom low-res PCB, just like every other Cave shooter in the last f***ing decade. And the chance of getting a port is pretty much nil, let alone “digital distribution” for crying out loud. Stick to writing about whatever it is you DO understand for the love of God. Pokemon, JRPGs, whatever.
User avatar
icycalm
Hyperborean
 
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 00:08
Location: Tenerife, Canary Islands

Unread postby icycalm » 05 Feb 2008 18:09

And since I am trawling Siliconera for laughs:

http://www.siliconera.com/2008/02/01/fr ... -blazblue/

The characters look rather militant.


It's a fucking Guilty Gear-inspired fighting game for fuck's sake! Of course the characters look "rather militant"! They are fighters not nuns for crying out loud!

I don’t want to judge a book by its cover so it’s probably better to hold any more comments until the official site updates with details on the fighting system.


As if you'll understand them!
User avatar
icycalm
Hyperborean
 
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 00:08
Location: Tenerife, Canary Islands

Unread postby discoalucard » 06 Feb 2008 20:12

Oh man I didn't know you guys hated me so much. :(

I don't disagree with your criticisms, because I am not the kind of fighting game fans that hangs around (nor cares) about the SRK forums, nor do I prowl the SHMUPS forums or attempt 1ccs. Obviously this reflects on my writing so it obviously won't go super indepth on a lot of stuff. In retrospect, naming it Hardcore Gaming 101 was maybe a bad idea, not only for the silliness, but also implying certain things about the reviews. They're meant to be broad reviews for gaming enthusiasts, to give a good idea to curious readers an overview of a series. If they want more depth, there are certainly other websites out there out there that are better than I am. This is why fighting game reviews mostly consist of character rundowns and analyzation of the graphics/music/etc and the basic of the mechanics, without being extraordinarily overwhelming - that's what FAQs are for. Additionally, I don't think not being SUPER HARDCORE into fighting games disqualifies someone from writing about them. I think you're being hard on a lot of blogs for stuff like that.

Also, while I certainly try to make sure everything is accurate, we're all human, and make stupid mistakes/omissions/whatever. There's a lot of content, and my ego isn't large enough to disavow making mistakes, so if there's any egregious errors, just send me an e-mail or post in the forums and I'll definitely look into correcting them.
discoalucard
 
Joined: 06 Feb 2008 20:02

PreviousNext

Return to Theory