Why Michael J. Lowell Needs To Get A Sex Change

By lobote / November 15, 2014

A thousand hours Michael J. Lowell claims to have sunk into his book Why Dota Sucks [ > ]. Am I reading too much ambition into him when I suggest he is gunning for a game journalism career?
   Mikey, Mikey, Mikey, you're never going to make it, unless of course you get a sex change. Did you really think the job of a game journalist was to help gamers decide which games to buy and play?
   To be a successful game journalist, you must be a master of the hyperreal, not the real.
   The hyperreal is born in the education system, the culmination of a decade-long demoralisation process, a cauldron of collective guilt, false praise, bullying and outright lies. It is a collection of symbols and feelings more real than reality, so much so when niggers chimp out all you see is Martin Luther King and equality.
   If life is a game then the education system makes you want to play on sandbox mode: emphasis on "finding what you want to do/makes you happy", obsession with balance-negating competition: balance of productivity (wage gap), balance of genes (anti-racism), balance of sexes (feminism), balance of degeneracy (tolerance), balance of culture (multiculturalism), balance of environment (environmentalism), balance of history (affirmative action, "never again" Holocaust), balance of desires (communism, "world peace"), etc. Contempt for game mechanics — hard sciences, manual labour, technical skill; "objective reality" denounced and replaced with "subjective reality" — the laws of gravity do not exist silly, it was merely the projection of Newton's desire to rape mother nature.
   The hyperreal is the self-imposed rules of the sandbox mode. Anyone who breaks the rules, who cheats, who says their culture is better, their race is best, they don't give a fuck about the whales, encounters the meta-game, the nasty and brutish herding process known as "political correctness". The hyperreal is a self-preserving mind virus. People infected with the hyperreal, who five minutes ago were obsessed with equality and peace, are now activated sentinels screaming for blood. The laws of gravity aren't real but the Holocaust sure is and you better not ask for any evidence. All Obama needs to make drones popular is to take out David Duke.
   The hyperreal has a threat: videogames. The naive aesthetics of multiculturalism, the adverts with different colored children happily holding hands, can't compete with Mario 64. The false accomplishment of denouncing Nazis can't compete with single-handedly winning WW2 in Medal of Honor. And the new hyperreal is incompatible with the old. Gamers do not play in the sandbox, we go on to the highest difficulty. We do not feel guilt killing virtual people, in fact we relish it. We do not want peace because that would be freaking boring!
   As an example of this incompatibility, I once read that a zoo had a giraffe die, and instead of paying the cost of transporting this large piece of meat to be dumped or buried, they simply cut it up, and gave it to the lions. To someone who has played a tycoon game, this all seems very reasonable; the mechanics of games based on reality, despite being abstracted, help us understand the mechanics of the real world. But to those infected with the hyperreal, the "social justice warriors", there is no understanding of the mechanics of reality. There is only the hyperreal. And this feeding dead animals to carnivores is simply horrifying! Why wasn't the giraffe treated like a person and given a funeral? Why are lions so cruel that they would eat other animals and not tofu? Why didn't the government step in at some point and tell the zookeepers how to do their job? This incident actually caused genuine outrage in the West.
   Despite the mutual horror SJWs and gamers hold for each other, a battle is raging, for the minds and culture of gamers. SJWs will try to infect gamers with their mind virus, to bring them back to the hyperreal, as they crush the will of gamers and infiltrate the industry. And once they have conquered the gaming industry, more profitable than the movie industry, they mean to unleash a plague of Political Correctness.
   First tactic: the SJWs try banning games they find offensive, the games that "cheat" so to speak the sandbox rules of the hyperreal. They say that the fictional game "Slavery: The Game" is immoral and should be banned out of existence. But social justice warriors, what about Age of Empires II? Isn't that just as bad as slavery? I mean, just the other day, my Vikings destroyed a Japanese empire, killing men and women (there were no children), and my Vikings never even got paid! I just kinda bought them into existence. They always did what I asked without question. Doesn't that sound like slavery too?
   Second tactic: the SJWs try modifying the aesthetics of games, by saying we need more blacks, dykes, cripples, etc. Again this is frivolous. Even if you had a disabled James Bond in "No Wheelchair Access To Hell", would that really make the movie acceptable if he continued killing dozens of people and banging dozens more Bond girls? Changing the aesthetics does not change the "Politically Incorrect" mechanics. It doesn't matter how many niggers you slap in World of Warcraft, it'll never be Utopia.
   Third tactic: the SJWs enter the gaming industry itself, making the industry more "balanced", and allowing them to "purify" games directly. But their games are ugly unfun "indie" shitpieces which merely serve as clumsy adverts to the hyperreal. How do you actually win at Depression Quest? By not killing yourself out of boredom? And these games couldn't not be total shitpieces, given SJWs live in sandbox mode, where they have total contempt for levelling up skill-wise, and where moreover they can't recognise any deficiency, because In sandbox mode you can't lose: Zoe Quinn, to prove that female gamers were equal to male gamers, fucked five journalists to get her game greenlighted on Steam, had this publicly exposed destroying her credibility as a gamer and feminist, and after all this effort, made the game free to download anyway. Did she lose? Zoe actually was given an award over all this ("drove" Gamergate from 4chan)!
   So the SJW tactics are doomed to failure, were SJWs to act alone, and not have outside help. And this is where game journalists come in.
   Journalists, to the naive, are simply relayers of information. In reality, they act as filters, distorting indirect information to manipulate the masses. We saw this in Gamergate, game journalists colluding to create talking points which framed the scandal to benefit the SJW. "Zoe cheating on her BF with 5 journalists to get favourable reviews" became "Zoe having a relationship with one journalist only after he mentioned her game". Why did this distortion happen? While computer game worlds are isolated — what happens in Mario 64 doesn't affect Final Fantasy — in the game of life, nothing is isolated. The sandbox players, the noobs, interact with the elite, even if they don't realise they are getting pawned every single freaking day. The hyperreal was created by the elite for their own benefit: sheep are easier to fleece. And so the elite, who control journalism through money (shares, bribery etc.), will see the hyperreal preserved.
   So this is why Mikey it is oh so naive to think researching and understanding a game genre in depth somehow qualifies you to become a game journalist.
   In order for gamers to give up on having fun, accept SJW trash games and morality, an endless parade of "10 Most Sexist Game Characters" and "30 School Shootings Inspired By GTA" and "How Gaming Culture Is Causing Global Warming" must inundate them to break their will. And if you want to become a journalist Mikey you need to get on board this demoralisation process. You need to have a sex change, so that Michelle J. Lowell not writing for Kotaku would be discrimination. You need to stop complaining about Dota's mechanics and complain about why you can't play as Mario's gay lover, Gario, fighting for transgender rights.
   Then, and only then, will we be able to achieve world peace.