Mario Kart series

[icycalm]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=735381

I hate what Mario Kart has become.

Since the inception of Double Dash and DS, I never would have believed that something as consistent and enjoyable as the Mario Kart series dissolve into a monotonous shit pile over the years. I mean you have a proper, working formula that you managed to make work with every installment, even if those previous installments before Double Dash weren't really that good. [Compared to what it released to at the time, like for instance MK64 was a pile of ass compaed to DKR, CTR, and MotorToon]. So why do I hate Mario Kart? It's simple;

The rubber banding. The shit roller coaster AI. Imagine--this series of critically acclaimed games-- NOT fixing the bullshit AI, but instead adding more items that make the AI even more bullshit ridiculous. MKWii pissed me off the most with the Item-tiering over skill nonsense, with adding the fucking M. Mushroom and POW Block, not nerfing the Blue Shell, and even going as far as to add a NEW Vehicle that can get around a lot of item bullshit, like the POW block. Add in a lackluster track selection, and MKWii is just a neverendling sludge of boring, note-in-a-hat bullshit that only relies on /luck./

And then Mario Kart 7 makes it's way around. It fixes a lot of the issues MKWii had, and makes a lot of really stupid decisions (WHY THE FUCK IS DRY BONES GONE). Adding things like the underwater and air driving are...nice...but still, they were only really /there/ to mask the-once again-shit level/track design that MK7 seemed to inspire from MKWii for some fucking reason. I mean it's nice returning to classic tracks but not nice when you bring back tracks with shit/boring level design (every single MK Wii Stage except Coconut Mall, DK Pass, Luigi Raceway--why are all Luigi themed maps plagued with shit level design-- and Kalamari Desert.). Oh look, new items! Yay there's another item that can block other items...and..hit opponents...like the bananas...and shells...Well that's not too bad, hey look they got rid of MEga Mushroom. I mean, it's bad but it's not as bad as MKWii was. Hell the item selection was akin to GBA Mario Ka--...

"Lucky Seven." I hate Lucky Seven, and I really hope that this item never returns or gets a revision called "Lucky Eight." Added with the still terribad AI, we have another mediocre Mario Kart title. The only saving grace of MK7 was the much improved online mode that I hope returns in 8, but this is the problem; I'm not excited for 8. If previous installments mean anything, a lot of the issues MK has with itself won't be fixed. It'll have the same shit rubberbanding, the same awful "new tracks" and some silly gimmick that masks the mediocrity of the level design.

But it's cool I guess I can stick with MKDS for another few years or so.

So basically his complaints seem to be the rubber-banding and track design. I've only played Super Mario Kart and the GBA game. Loved the first, and thought the second was okay considering I could hardly see anything on the screen.

[Amor fati]

I have played all the console and handheld games so can offer a comparison (I have also played the first two arcade games but not to enough to offer comment beyond they felt different and were worth no more than two stars):

Super Mario Kart *****
Mario Kart 64 ***
Mario Kart Advance (Super Circuit) **
Mario Kart: Double Dash !! ***
Mario Kart DS **
Mario Kart Wii **
Mario Kart 7 **

The original is the best by far and has no rubber banding (the AI follows a fixed time goal instead) and the best tracks. Mario Kart 64 has the most complex handling mechanic but has mediocre track design and introduced rubber banding and drafting with items becoming more useful. Mario Kart Advance (Super Circuit outside of Japan) was a facsimile of the original with bad handling, more useful items and mediocre new track design but included the original’s tracks. Mario Kart: Double Dash !! was the first to run at 60 fps and had superb graphics but had a co-op mechanic with more emphasis on combat, track design was poor but handling was solid. Mario Kart DS was similar to Double Dash !! but without the co-op and great graphics, included a mission mode and also had an item that gave a nice visual effect with ink covering the screen. Mario Kart Wii got rid of two-player Grand Prix and allowed tilt control, introduced bikes which were better than karts and a simple trick system but suffered from bad track design. Mario Kart 7 introduced flying and underwater sections to the tracks but they were still poor. The kart customisation was neat but weak power sliding dragged it down.

[icycalm]

Thanks for the breakdown. Will save me a lot of time from trying out all these games.

So why does that guy seem to imply that the DS game is the best (or at any rate the best after the original)?

[icycalm]

I reread my Arcade GP review, circa 2006: http://insomnia.ac/reviews/triforce/mar ... review.php

It's exactly what I would have written now, minus the lengthy Wikipedia-like exposition in the middle (which I mainly gave at the time because there was little information on the game available on the internet). It really is a two-star game, no doubt about it.

If you feel like writing mini-reviews of all these games at some point, you can post them in this thread and I'll include them in the relaunch of the mini-review section, which will happen soon. Just a thought.

[icycalm]

I would like this image to be one day on my Wikipedia page:

Right next to an exposition on my policies on eugenics, genocide and ethnic cleansing.

[Amor fati]

So why does that guy seem to imply that the DS game is the best (or at any rate the best after the original)?

He probably enjoys the DS version the most due to it having the largest amount of content in the series. I do not get the impression he likes the original (he may not have played it) as he is dismissive of the games before Double Dash!!:

even if those previous installments before Double Dash weren't really that good.

[ingolfr]

A lot of people enjoyed Mario Kart DS because they quickly discovered the drifting system is slightly broken and allows you to "snake", drifting repeatedly for the boosts rather than just maintaining speed while turning: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ns2OSG92jUQ

It always bothered me that they didn't include GP modes with more than two players. Especially in the handheld versions where there is no split-screen issue.